Sunday, December 18, 2011

Game On Santa...Really?

I love Santa!
He travels the world spreading joy and hope while giving gifts. Look at the guy.

Look at him!

So he is nice, jolly, and giving.
 He loves animals and kids.
He is wise.
He rewards good behavior which promotes great values to future generations.
He has that awesome grandpa feel to him.  

I mean Santa loves kids a lot which I have a lot of respect for. I like a few of them...and can't stand a lot of them! 

This Santa guy...well he loves all kids.

Yet you have those that choose to pick fights with him.

The thing about this video that angers me isn't that Santa is being made to feel like a fool.  The thing that angers me about this video is that the lady who is trying to hurt the nice fat old man...well she is an idiot.

Why are people sooo confident in situations where they should have zero confidence?

So Santa brings free gifts...well this lady doesn't want his free gifts....she wants to pay for all of them smart lady.

This lady doesn't even let Santa know not to bring the gifts either....she wants to wait to tell him when he gets she is wasteful again but in a whole different way. Not even a "whoops I forgot" wasteful....but a "I'm a jerk"wasteful. Lets waste time and resources shall we?!

She also waits for him on her roof which has snow on it....late late at night....and not just any night ...Christmas Eve?  So now she is putting her life on the line to show this nice Santa guy what a jerk she is. She could die while her kids sleep but she doesn't care....she wants to pick on nice old fat man who is giving things away.  

Then...just to add to her stupidity and misplaced anger...she kicks a decorative Santa statue off of the roof??? Not just any roof...but her roof!!! Not just any statue....her statue!!!  Lets assume that her husband put the statue on the roof.  So she doesn't care about her husband now either all while trying to pick a fight with Santa. Now she is a bully

So she disrespects Santa and her husband. She puts her life on the line which shows she could give a flip about her family including the kids she bought gifts for. She stays up really late on this roof in the snow to pick a fight...which shows she's insane..

all of this I clearly see....yet there she is...being overconfident that Santa is the real jerk here.  

Watch it one more time now.....DO IT!!! Santa isn't feeling he is being out done by the lady..he isn't scared he might lose his job. Santa is actually scared...for his life. No longer will he fly to this house if he makes it out alive and I wouldn't either if I were him.  

Santa..I love you and you are always welcome to bring me whatever you want.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Bruce Willis sounded asian for a second.

I was watching Die Hard 2 the other day on TBS or something.  I happened to jump right into the movie near the big climatic scene. Knowing that Bruce Willis normally cusses here...I was quite interested in how they were going to pull this off without looking stupid.  Well the people editing this video decided to just go for full on stupid. 

I know this video is a little off but wow...Mr. Falcon????? I was sooo distracted by what I heard that I tried to make sense of it. Was there a bad guy named Mr. Falcon?  Are planes called falcons? Was Bruce Willis possessed for a second by a asian ghost who had just been talking to a Mr. Falcon?  Who is named Mr. Falcon anyway?  It sounds like a generic pilot from a war who saves the day. 

ANYWAY...I couldn't think of anything to excuse it. It was such a poor job that I ended up losing all emotion in the scene. Upon more research, Allison and I discovered that the guy who edited the sound has a cult following.  People somewhere were loving Mr. Falcon.

Not this guy...sorry Mr. Falcon....I am not buying it!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Judge Ross...Seriously?

I love Judge Judy and also Peoples Court. They hold a special place in my heart. Its the same feeling I have for The Price Is Right. I am not going to go out of my way to watch it all of the time but when I am home laying around and especially if I am sick......ohhh weeee....Its party time. Actually you know what.....I feel the same for AFV. That stands for Americas Funniest Home Videos.  Anyway....

The other day I was home in bed sick...and I turned on the TV to find Peoples Court on. It was great. I love watching the judges use facts and their wisdom to see right thru people and make great judgement calls.  I even strongly believe that you can learn a lot from these shows....You can learn law which is good...but the best part that you can learn about people.  You see how crappy and stupid they are.  

Well After Peoples Court a new show came on called America's Court with Judge Ross. 

Let me tell you something. It was horrible. To tell you the truth...the other court shows all stink....but this one....well it just sucks!!!  You want a judge who bases decisions from law. You also want a judge that eliminates drama to clearly see the problem at hand....well.....Judge Ross didn't do that at all. He actually created Drama.

I won't go into specifics about this case I saw but basically a punk kid got fired from work for using the company cell phone for other things than just calling. He was told not to and did anyway and it ended up costing the business 300 dollarees. The kid never paid the owner took it out of his last pay check. The kid also added on a 7000 dolaree suit for sexual harassment toward the owner.     Are you all still paying attention?? here you go

Anyway...the judge rejected all of the kids points and sided with logic most of the case. Even the harassment had no proof and sounded sooooo stupid...well at the end....he made his verdict.
"So I find in favor of the defendant for the cell phone for the sexual harassment...I think that something did happen but not 7000 dollars worth. So I am awarding the plaintiff 1000 dollars."

 I was shocked. I am still shocked. I have seen soooo many shows like this and never anything like this.  The next day I got Allison to watch one of his and she thought the same thing. He's horrible. He Based his decision on no facts and not even a compelling argument!!! NO FACTS...NO GOOD ARGUMENT!!! NOTHING!!!! Now some lady is guilty of sexual harassment in TV world forever.

Whew...calm it down David

But look at him...I mean he looks like an idiot. 

Would you trust the truth with someone like this? I would trust him as much as I would trust his deputy....ZERO!!!! Would you trust your kids with them?  Look again....NOPE!

 Plus he doesn't wear glasses like true judges...

Not only do they look smart...but they also give you the BS DOESNT WORK HERE look. 
Would you mess with Judge Judy?  I wouldn't and she is a tiny lady. 

Also I wouldn't mess with Judge Milian either. She is a latin pistol that speaks a few languages. Also if I did try anything with wouldn't be in would be on a date. 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Chuck Sherman Vs David Crawford

Since 1999, I have had random people across the globe tell me that I look like Chuck Sherman. for those who aren't familiar with this fellow....Chuck Sherman is the Shermanator from the movie American Pie. I have always tossed this to the side because people think redheads look the same....I have even had some asian and black friends tell me redheads look the same. When that happens I look at them and ask them "Surely you are not going to say that all redheads look the same"

Well lately I have gotten tired of it. Now when someone asks....I look at them and ask them if they think I truly do or if its just because I have red hair and tiny eyes.  They usually stick with it.  Well now I just think those people are dumb. I have an adopted friend that people would always say looked like his parents....these are the people I am talking about. 

Anyway here are some pics of me and Shermanator...try to look at how we truly look a lot differently. Change my hair color if you like.

While I was working on the blog my wife set out to find out as much information on Shermanator as she thing that we thought was weird is that his birthday is 3 days before mine.  We also went thru hundreds of pics to find something that might could be me....this was the closest one we could find out of soooo many...and then me....I see more in this one but once again its mostly hair based. 

So in closing, I don't look like him really at all....but I do have red hair which includes having really white skin. I do have tiny eyes and my head is kinda long like the Shermanator....but I can name lots of people with that and no one would say I look like the person....its all the hair...

Shermanator even said this in the movie "I'm a sophisticated sex robot, sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady."

I would never say this.....

ok I would but never seriously

Thursday, October 27, 2011


       So I have a band named Art Wilson. There are three of us in it. Its me, Jesse Phillips, and Landon Rogan. We have never had any good pictures of the band...So at a show last year I made Allison take some pictures while the band hung out. This was not a photo shoot or anything. 

I quickly realized how tough it would be to make us all look "cool". We all looked too stiff and dorky. The best pic was taken while we are playing. That pic is below. It is good because you can't really see us. I am not saying we aren't good looking. I am just saying I don't know if we go together.

 Picture going to a party with two friends. One wears a suit with a top hat...One wears duck head shorts with a ducks unlimited shirt and a baseball hat backwards....and the third person is dressed like a dirty cleaning just doesn't work. People would look at us weird. 

I mean the best part of the pic below is Jesse......who is that guy? Why can't we see him? Is he playing with us and if he supposed to be playing with us. I think Jesse is the cooler one in the band as well normally so whatever.

So this past weekend, I asked my beautiful wife if she would humor me and take some pictures of me outside with a piano. I was lucky that my friend John came over and helped move the piano. It was to see if I could look cool in pics. Plus my band said it was cool for their to be pics of just me since the songs we play are the songs I write....anyway it was a photo shoot kinda but more just for fun....allison is a miracle are a few

Don't I look cool and deep?

Monday, October 17, 2011

I still do this

         I wanted everyone to know that the other day I saw a calculator that no one was using at a friends work while I was out and I immediately typed this and showed it to a few people. I AM 32!  I dont remember the whole story and equation on how Dolly Parton gets to that number though.

Then right after I typed it I felt bad. This was soooo stupid and shameful. If I am going to type something so immature...why would I type boobless? So I quickly corrected my error

Saturday, October 15, 2011

What else can I do?

Do I have the power to move objects as well and just not know it?  I am going to assume I can and just not try it.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Looking for nice pants...

       So a while back I was looking for some cool pants to wear impress entice people to use me as a real estate feel better looking and more know...nice cool pants. Well in my search I thought I had found the ones for me.  When I decided to see how it looked in one of their model pics...this is what I saw

Really?  That high?  That out there?  Some really dorky penguin man pants??? No thank you! At least not yet. Give me a few more years

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

It's my birthday!

This is my new blog and its my birthday!!! Happy Birthday to me!!! Please follow my new blog and please send me birthday presents!